In just 21 day I hit a big life event……..I celebrate my 50th birthday. WOW…I should be thrilled and all of that but frankly in some ways its kind of freaked me out a little. I am sure that as I get closer time I will have a better outlook but I have been in the reflective valley for a bit and got to thinking about all those plans as a kid growing up; what I wanted to do, where to go to college, what i would be when I grew up. So much of that has changed and I wonder now IF I have really left my mark on the world?
I got married and had two beautiful girls, Kendria and Alisha, they are healthy and happy girls with families of their own. Alisha has given me two beautiful grandchildren, and I can’t wait to just spoil them as grandmas do. My mum was the knitter of the family, making sure my girls had those handmade loving pieces that they could wear and keep for their kids. Now I have taken that roll over from my Mum, I have turned into this crazed knitter and looking at all the wonderful things I can do for the kids. I just realized that my Mum gave us though her knitting a piece of her and now I am doing the same thing. Leaving a part of me behind for my girls and my grandchildren.
I have been a writer my whole life. Always documenting areas of my life, getting feeling and thoughts out on paper or the screen. They say write what you know and that’s what I am doing. I was raised in Ohio and I LOVE my Buckeyes, bleed scarlet and grey as they say. I followed the boys last season and gave my views on what I saw from overseas. I made many new friends and gained followers on Twitter. I have decided that I will be back blogging the 2013 season. I’m spending a season with the Chicago White Sox.
Turning 50 has got me also looking at those little gifts and friends along the way that have been a blessing, a surprise and just been a blast. Getting to meet some really cool people have been an amazing gift, especially in the last couple of years. Homegrown Aussie Musicians Prinnie Stevens and Mahalia Barnes. I have become good friends with Jimmy Cupples and would give anything to see him in concert this year. The goal is Darren Percival, in concert and a photo with him. The man is just PURE soul in my book, modern-day earthy soul.
Facebook gave me an unexpected gift last year and I just finally got brave enough to tell this person how much a part of my life they were. USA and World Champion Tai Babilonia accepted my friendship, and it was such a high. I watch her and Randy skate for years and it was because of them that I fell in love with skating and my knowledge about the sport. To this day I still get all giddy when I talk with her. THANKS TAI
As I continue to do some exploring of life and what I can leave behind, my writing keeps coming forward and I keep feeling that it’s what I am supposed to do. It’s the gift that I can leave for my girls and grandchildren, for my family and those who are special in my life. I have made a lot of mistakes along the way but I can’t allow those to affect my future. I have to leave them packed away and not unpack them. Some mistakes are always going to come back and haunt me in one form or another and I wish I could change that. People who were not even there and have no clue of the circumstances are holding my choices AGAINST ME. That one really hurts more than anything and they don’t even realize it how much it hurts. I try not to let those people get under my skin but its a really tough ask. I wonder if they would make the same choices IF they were in the same place.
I miss those people who have gone ahead into what is ever out there, I try to take those little things that they have taught me along the way and make life just a little better for myself and teach those around me. This year especially I will make the time to really stop and appreciate what is around me, those friends and family I will make sure to tell me just a little more often ” I LOVE YOU”. Don’t be afraid to swallow your pride and be human and say those three little words. Every day you get out of bed God gives you just what you can handle for the day. Take the time to really STOP and look at the simple things, how green the grass really is, the blue of the sky, how BRIGHT the sun really is shining.
You never know, you might just see what you have been really missing.