2011-04-30 06.50.10Now a days we take so many things for granted. Just the simple everyday things of life, things that we just don’t really stop to appreciate the beauty of them UNTIL something happens and we are forced to stop and have a really good look at what’s happened and discover a few things about ourselves that we have just been missing. Hers why I have been forced to stop……

When my oldest daughter had cancer at age 12 it was devastating. My relationships suffered (especially with my youngest daughter) and it basically ended my marriage. I just didn’t have or make the time to stop and make sure all those little things that mattered were really ok. It was those things that took the hit, got damaged along the way. I had to let go of some things in hopes that with time they could be saved. As much and as hard as I tried I just couldn’t fix what had happened from the choices I had made. Other events along the way have actually brought my youngest daughter and me back together and even made us stronger. The older daughter is dealing with her demons and I just have to be patient and wait. I’ll be there for her when she wants to talk or needs me.

With my husband  Phil’s accident I have had to really take stock in how strong and stubborn I have become. I have had to really step up and run the household, make the best informed decisions on his behalf and just get on with life. I don’t always cope well but I manage to find the strength to keep going.  I’m finding ways to be positive and allowing God and others to step in and take care of me when I need it. When I just can’t see that I need to take some “down time”.

Growing up, when you get told things enough you start believing them and that’s been a big battle of late. It’s taking a long time to FINALLY start listening to friends and get that I am REALLY OK. I’m strong and smart, supportive and I can do this. I am strong enough. I am actually BETTER then I have been giving myself credit for. What has a sunrise got to do with all this………………….I have a mate who is in the fight of his life….Cancer. We just don’t know if treatment will work or how much time he has left. He shared with me that he really appreciates each sunrise he sees. It’s shown him how precious our days on this earth really are. It has made me realize that all the negative stuff doesn’t matter for those few minutes each morning that you stand or sit and watch the sun shine on a new day. That whatever comes you can deal with, with the help of family and friends no matter where in the world they are. For that few minutes of peace in your life everything is really OK.

He’s helped me to see that I am really strong, that I can handle the really tough stuff and be an anchor in a tough storm that others look to for strength. Raw emotions are nothing to be afraid of; it just shows that we are all HUMAN. Why are we so afraid to show those feelings?  Are we afraid of losing friends if we are seen weak? We all need to have a little comfort in those times when things are getting tough to handle.

I wish I could tell this person how much he has given me in the short time we have known each other. How I want to be a stronger person because of his simple gift of appreciating something so delicate that is a constant reminder how precious life really is.

So here’s my question……When’s the last time you took a time out to watch the sun come up??

 

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