*I originally wrote this in April of 2011 and I decided to revive it as I am needing a little reminder of some of the things I wrote about. I am a movie nut and love those movies that just come out of no where and make you really stop and think. If you have not seen this movie, I hope after you read this you rent it and have your own WOW moment.
You finally go the cinema and see the movie you have been waiting for. You know the reviews are good and the acting is great and right in the middle of the movie you find yourself in tears and are not sure why? It’s the moment in the movie where it all hits you and you get that moment in life that finally makes all sense. Here’s why I am asking…………
I missed the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” in the cinema but rented it. It’s with Julia Roberts playing Liz Gilbert and her year-long journey to figure out her life and how to just be happy in her own skin. It was a trip of self-discovery and how to learn to forgive herself for past regrets she had in her own life, being able to clear your head of all the life clutter and decide on the important stuff.
Before I married Phil and moved to Australia, kept doing list to make sure things got done and if I didn’t get some stuff done, Phil would always tell me “there’s always tomorrow” or put the stuff not done at the top of tomorrows to do list. I use to get so frustrated until I gave in and tried it. That was a Wow moment; it was so good to finally get what he was talking about.
I so get the forgiving of past life regrets. Those lifelong decisions that you make and if you only knew then what you know now would you have really made them, the decisions that you make that will decide what the rest of your life will turn out to be. Once made you can’t change the outcome and you have to deal with the consequences of the decisions. Seem like I have been doing that one most of my life and just now getting the fact of having to realize that I did what I thought was best at the time and place the decisions were made. At the point in the movie that Liz also discovered that, I found myself sitting on the floor of my lounge room, SOBBING and I didn’t get it at first. Then it hit me, I needed to do the same thing. FORGIVE myself for those decisions and the fact I can’t change them. What a wake up moment it was, it was like it was just for me.
This past January I met Gary, Dan’s brother, who was diagnosed with two forms of cancer. We started exchanging letters on Facebook and he managed to teach me so much in a few letters in the short time he was my friend here on earth. He gave me a new appreciation for sunrises and how our time on this earth is really precious and we get so busy in life that we don’t stop and really look at the things around us. How is it that something so simple gets pointed out by someone who knows their time on earth is running out and is seeing all those things maybe for the first time? Why does it take a person who’s in the fight of their life to show us something so simple? Gary is gone now, and I will NEVER get to tell him in person what he has done for me. How much he has changed my life for the better and what he taught me in the short amount of time.
Clearing out the life clutter and just being happy in your own skin is a life long journey in itself. My girls are all grown up and I’m just now getting around to taking care of me. Getting healthy and finding what makes me happy and be ok in my life. I always ask “What’s normal?” and to this day I still don’t know the answer. Don’t think I will ever figure it out but will keep trying.
It’s taken all this time to finally get some of the simple stuff, figuring out how to get rid of the life clutter and decide what really makes me happy. Phil’s mobility issues and the oncoming winter have also made me think about things just needing to be simple and less cluttered. Watching Phil face his daily challenges has also shown me that too much stuff can get in the way and by forgiving regrets and letting go, making life simple we can actually be happy with who we are.
So Here’s the Question……Have you REALLY forgiven yourself and gotten rid of some life clutter?