It’s a lonely life.
Carers give up alot and go without to make sure the person they are taking care of has all they need.
Carers spend many hours alone waiting and worrying if the hubby or wife or child is ok.
Carers miss out on dinners with friends, going shopping. They have to juggle the lawyers and figuring out how to get places if they don’t drive.
Carers miss having someone to talk to , to ask them “How are you?” and to really interested in how things are going.
Carers need positives to help them also when the times get tough.
Sometimes Carers don’t need respite they need someone at the end of the phone.
Why did I just tell you all of that, To tell you this. . .
I am a carer. Been Phil’s carer since his accident almost 10 years now. I have had to juggle the lawyers, getting appointments scheduled. spending hours on my own with Phil in bed because of his back. Helping him to get dressed and shower, help with his shaving. I have been out shopping and had to hurry home because Phil woke up early and couldn’t get out of bed. I use to go to Mass on my own and hoped he would stay asleep til I got back.
I turned to writing to basically save my sanity, it was a way that I could express myself, to get out those feelings of loneliness, at times wishing for some company or the phone to ring.
I live in Australia and I work on USA time. I love writing don’t get me wrong but there are times I sit at my keyboard and struggle in silence.
I search for that positive but people don’t understand how much having that positive to focus on would help. Swimming in a seas of negative gets tiring. Ya, I know, keep on keeping on but you know what, I am tired and it would help to have someone carry a bit of the load so I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed.
When Phil had his accident, people wondered why I didn’t leave? For starters where am I going to go, I am married to the man and he needs me. He is pretty self-sufficient at time but there are those times where he needs me. I know his condition and how to get him moving or what needs done. Sure things have changed and that makes me sad, but we decided to figure out how to make it work and we do. People look at me funny when I tell them I am married but live as a single.
I know there are many carers out there with similar stories, quietly going about things but needing a little extra support. They don’t need respite but just someone to check on them and see how they are. Carers do it tough, someone needs to step up and remember that we are out here.
Just a 5 minute chat or a positive project could change the whole day for someone like me, so we don’t feel so overwhelmed or alone.